Not Life's Commandments – Reality's Rules

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Life’s Top Ten Rules of Reality (As Told by the Stoic Stoners)

1. Murphy’s Law
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
👉 Translation: Don’t trip, bro — chaos is built into the code. Pack a spare lighter.

2. Hanlon’s Razor
Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity.
👉 Translation: Most villains aren’t evil masterminds — they’re just baked on their own incompetence.

3. The Peter Principle
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
👉 Translation: The higher the ladder, the shakier the rungs. Respect the janitor — he might be the last competent soul in the building.

4. Parkinson’s Law
Work expands to fill the time available.
👉 Translation: That “quick job” will still be there at 4:20. Don’t sweat it — but don’t fool yourself either.

5. Finagle’s Law
Anything that can go wrong, will — at the worst possible moment.
👉 Translation: Expect the joint to run out right when the story’s getting good. That’s just the flow.

6. Ginsberg’s Theorem
You can’t win. You can’t break even. You can’t even quit the game.
👉 Translation: Life’s a casino with no exit doors. Might as well laugh at the odds.

7. Gilbert’s Law
The biggest problem at work is that none of your coworkers is you.
👉 Translation: Chill, not everyone rolls joints like you. Patience is part of the practice.

8. Law of the Perversity of Nature
You can’t determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter — both sides will land face down.
👉 Translation: The universe has a sense of humor. Get a sturdier plate.

9. Law of Delay
If you put off something long enough, it will happen by itself.
👉 Translation: Time’s the real hustler. Sometimes waiting beats rushing.

10. The Unspeakable Law
As soon as you mention something… if it’s good, it goes away. If it’s bad, it happens.
👉 Translation: Don’t jinx the vibe. Let the moment breathe.

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